A Day in the Life of a bereavement support worker

As a mother to two wonderful boys, and four babies she heartbreakingly never got to bring home (three miscarriages and one termination for medical reasons at 20 weeks’ gestation), Cat Irvine immediately resonated with her role as Bereavement Support Worker for Red Nose’s Hospital to Home Program.

Cat has lived in the UK, New Zealand and the USA, but she now calls Perth her home again. Previously a travel agent, the pandemic halted her career but it also proved to be a silver lining as she knew the role with Red Nose would fulfil her sense of purpose.

Propelling her passion to support other bereaved families in navigating the significant practical and emotional challenges they face in adjusting to life without their baby, Cat says, “After Isabel’s death, I felt so incredibly alone, even with the support of my family and friends. I remember thinking ‘nobody can even start to understand what this feels like as they haven’t gone through it’. I attended my first face-to-face support session with Red Nose just weeks after Isabel died. I wasn’t sure whether I’d like it, but I knew that these were my people, that I’d found my people who were going to help me survive this.”

Currently in her final year of Bachelor of Midwifery at Charles Darwin University, Cat loves connecting with her clients (bereaved families). She provides short-term immediate support for families following the devastating loss of a child through stillbirth, termination for medical reasons, neonatal death, SIDS and SUDI (sudden unexpected death of an infant).

07:00 My children and I normally wake up at 7 am. Like many parents, my mornings are all about the school rush — getting kids ready, drop-offs and wishing them a lovely day.

08:45 Make myself a much-needed coffee before my day starts.

09:00 New referrals for our Hospital to Home program is the first thing I check — if there are any, I send a text message to introduce myself and organise their first support session. Depending on the day and where my client sessions are located, I may work in the office or from home.

09:30 The first of my Zoom/phone support sessions starts at 9:30 am or 10 am if I’m meeting them face-to-face. When families are newly bereaved, leaving the house feels impossible, so I love that I’m able to meet them in their own space where they feel safe and comfortable. Sometimes my clients want to go for a walk together, have a coffee down by the beach, or meet me at their child’s grave.

My morning usually involves two support sessions before lunchtime; 30 minutes between sessions to write case notes and a five-minute reset for myself before my next session.

12:00 I do a second round of new referrals. I work two days a week, so I get in touch with new referrals as soon as possible — I know how important immediate support can be for families really struggling in their grief.

12:30 I’m at a local hospital providing bereavement education to midwives as some hospitals experience numerous perinatal losses. I spend 20–25 min educating midwives on the services Red Nose has available, provide key points that help them in their practice, then open the floor for questions and information sharing. I also provide education for the midwifery students at all the local WA universities, once a semester, which goes more in-depth in bereavement support and how to care for themselves when supporting bereaved families.

14:00 Face-to-face session with one of my pregnancy after loss clients. We know that falling pregnant again doesn’t make the grief go away; pregnancy after loss can be incredibly complex, anxiety-provoking and difficult to navigate. We talk through her fears around labour and birth, ways to help protect herself and create a safe space to bring this next baby into the world. We also discuss what she needs from her birthing support team to support her mental health.

For clients who have engaged with Hospital to Home after a pregnancy loss, we offer four support sessions. It is so rewarding being able to support some of our families through their losses and see them through their happy ever afters with their subsequent babies — a true full circle moment.

16:30 Given the nature of the role, being well supported is important — I attend group supervision as well as individual supervision once a month. Every fortnight we have an Australia-wide Hospital to Home team meeting. As a team we are committed to ongoing training and development; I attend both internal and external training sessions on topics such as ADHD and autism in grief, domestic violence awareness training and self-awareness.

17:00 I have two very active sons, so if we’re not at a sports game or practice, we’re usually kicking a ball around or shooting hoops. Being in my final semester of my Midwifery degree, I don’t have a lot of ‘me’ time. Any free time I do have is dedicated to classwork and university assignments, although I do like to play netball once a week.

Red Nose’s Hospital to Home is a program operating throughout Australia, providing outreach support within three months of loss to bereaved parents. Visit www.redno.se/H2H to make a referral.

Images: Supplied.